Life and Running….

Life:

Once again it has been awhile since I sat down to write.  I have been spending the last month focusing on being a better mother/wife and a more present mother/wife.  I really felt that I was missing so many moments in our daily lives trying to be a part of social media and the blogging world.  I know I was searching for a purpose outside of the home because that is what I was used to, and that is where I believed my worth would come from.  However, what I have discovered over the last couple months is that every day with my boys, even though it does not earn a pay check, has a purpose.

I spent a few nights reading "Hands Free Mama" (both the book and the blog) by Rachel Mary Stafford awhile back.  Really, it was exactly what I needed.  It has helped me shift perspective, love & forgive (mostly myself even though I am an imperfect mother who makes mistakes) and most of all I have put down my phone and stepped away from the computer. The memories we have created over the last few months having "Hands Free" meals and being "Hands Free" while we wait for the bus or appointments are so wonderful, they are not amazing, in fact many would just call them ordinary.  But it is in the everyday, ordinary conversations and moments that I am finding the greatest joy in these days.  It is in the hand holding, uninterrupted conversation, the giggle or smile, the little discoveries they make each day as they explore this new world.  All of the things that I can honestly say I was missing as I read blogs, checked various social media, and focused more on the laundry and dishes then the kids.  That does not mean we live in a messy house, in fact laundry is on it's way to being caught up daily and cleaning is getting done as well.  I have found the patience to incorporate the boys into these tasks even though they do not do them "perfect" or even the way I would.  I have learned to breathe, take a moment, just sit and snuggle and be in the moment without worrying about the to do lists or all the things I "need" to do.  Becoming "hands free" has been and will continue to be a journey.  There will be days that I make the right choice, some days I will not, but every day I am trying to make memories and remember to breathe.

Running:

Mother Nature has not given up.  She continues to make this winter one of the worst I can remember.  It is cold and exhausting to go for a run, in fact a quick run takes almost all of my running gear and turns into a load of laundry.  February will end up being less then 100 miles for the month (90ish depending on if I get out tomorrow or not).  A few weeks ago my treadmill literally started smoking and it needs a new motor.  On days that I am the solo parent I have resorted to strength training and using the elliptical.  It's not running, but it works.  I have managed to get all my longer runs in outside including a back to back double digit weekend, some 18 milers, and a 20 miler yesterday.  I still am amazed that almost 2 years ago I dropped down to a half marathon because I could not handle a 15 mile training run and now 15 is almost "normal".  Consistency has paid off, I am still not the fastest, but I would definitely consider myself a runner.

As of now the plan is to run the Mohican 50 miler in June as my training run for Woodstock, and at least 1 to 2 unsupported 50k's before then once the trails become decent again.  I have had some fun over the last few weeks trying out my new Ultimate Direction Jenny Ultra Vesta (LOVE! This vest fits fabulous, no bouncing or weird back chafing), experimenting with my Tailwind nutrition (Other then Nuun and the occasional Picky Bar before I start), this is all I have been using for fuel and so far am loving it.  Not stomach issues and drinking it every .5/1 mile it helps me avoid crashing) and even tried out some Zero Drop Altra.

Whole 30 and eating overhaul...

Ever since I did Atkins years ago, I have stayed away from fad diets or quick weight loss through shakes or gimmicks.  I believed that everything in moderation, plus exercise and people including myself could be healthy and fit (notice I did not say skinny, I want to be strong and healthy, not just skinny).  However after a few weeks of food tracking I realized that my "moderation" was more of an overindulgence and while my under active thyroid and ineffective medication may be playing some roll in my weight loss, my "diet" (I am using the term diet to describe the usual food I consumed)  was a very big problem.   Apparently the major food groups are not sugar, candy, chocolate, coffee, bread and beer.  After a few weeks of trying to limit my sugar intake I realized I was addicted in a really bad way and no matter how many miles I ran it would not be able to make up for my poor food choices.  I had seen Whole 30 mentioned on several blogs I followed, but really was not keen on the idea of giving up all of the food I love and thought it was really just the next South Beach or Atkins fad.  I checked out the Whole 30 website and blog (a free version of the program is available here: http://whole9life.com/2012/08/the-whole30-program/ ) and really it made sense. While you are giving up dairy, legumes, grains, sugar and alcohol for 30 days it is more of a reset and a way to really understand what food does to your body, how it responds to them and also your own relationship with food.  I still was not completely sold but I bought into it enough that I downloaded the book "It Starts with Food" from Kindle and spent the next several days reading it.  When I was all done I figured what do I have to loose? The worst that could happen would be that I would hate it, and go back to attempting to conquer my sugar and cruddy food addiction by myself, at least this way I would possibly begin to understand my relationship with food and why I eat what I eat and maybe I would really reset my body.

I started the Whole 30 on Friday March 1st (finishing up the day before Easter, which happens to be my favorite holiday because I love the food and the candy).  I am finishing up day 9 today and honestly I am actually really happy with not only the weight loss results (10 lbs yeah I know it says do not step on a scale but the doctor weighed me when I went) but also how I feel.  I am eating now to fuel my body, as opposed to emotional eating or just because there is food around (like eating off the kid's plates or handfuls of whatever as I am making their meals).  I have not followed the plan as strictly as they outline though; I am still drinking coffee, I had honey in my tea last week when I had strep throat again, I consumed a honey gel and a protein bar on my long run last weekend, and even tried to enjoy a beer last night (which I dumped after 2 sips because it was not even appealing).  As far as cravings I really miss and want cheese but other then that I have not had to many and any that I did have went away quickly.  I am struggling with what to eat the night and morning before a long run and neither apple sauce or a hard boiled egg sound good.  I do find that after most meals I am full with out feeling gross and that with all of the resources and recipes out there cooking is easy.  I plan to continue with Whole 30 for the rest of March as I am now, giving me plenty of time to figure out the details of long run days, and start it again in April before I reintroduce the dairy, grains, and legumes. (I left out sugar because I do not have any intention of reintroducing sugar into my diet (remember I am using the term diet to describe the food I consume on a regular basis), and when I do consume sugar it will be worth it and enjoyable.